Insecure Writer's Support Group: Endometriosis Anniversary

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my surgery that gave me back my life.

For those of you not in the know, I have Endometriosis. It looked something like this.

image of the pain chart I made to track my Endometriosis pain

Blank days were the days I didn't have pain. There weren't many. You can see it progressively getting worse each month. I went to the ER three times in four months because the pain was so bad. Ever not brush your teeth for days in a row? Or shower? Or use deodorant? It's not pretty.

On February 1st in 2021, I had surgery. It went... a little off the rails. I was supposed to go home the same day and instead spent two nights in the hospital. I had a catheter in for a month because my bladder (and bowels) were trying to fuse with my uterus, and it had to be pried off and in the process tore.

I gave my doctor a challenge, but she rose to it.

The uncertainty of how much the surgery would help vanished. She was 100% certain I'd feel better.

And I did. Infinitely better.

The thing is there's still healing going on two years later. Those 10 years of ever-increasing pain and some doctors' lack of willingness to do anything took its toll. (If you are a doctor, one surefire way to lose any trust your patients have in you is to say "Well, you'll just have to deal with it." Yes, I was told that by a doctor.")

I have a deep fear of going back to that pain and I don't trust doctors to help. Sometimes I panic that I need to do everything now because tomorrow I might be in too much pain and this time nothing will ease it. Over the years, I had a few false hopes that a treatment worked. Until it didn't.

I'm doing my best to not focus on those fears. Live each day to the best of my ability and enjoy the fact the surgery helped so much. Most people with chronic illness and pain don't get that lucky.

So, for now, I want to have a little party and celebrate getting my life back.


Before you go, I have a favor to ask. I'm re-releasing Influence of Love last week on Amazon and other retailers with new chapters and some rewritten chapters. Balance of Love and Revelation of Love are scheduled for release. If you'd like to help me spread the word, please fill out this form.

Image of a light house with the words Insecure Writer's support group
Today's post was part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Created by the ninja captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh, it's a group for the writers (AKA all of us) struggling with writing insecurity to gather and discuss our fears or to celebrate writing victories. If you are a struggling writer or need encouragement and friendship, join us. (Someone might have cookies!)

Remember to visit the co-hosts and give them a shout-out for helping. Jacqui Murray, Ronel Janse van Vuuren, Pat Garcia, and Gwen Gardner!


Live with it? That's no answer. Glad you finally got the surgery and are pain-free now. Just have faith it will stay that way.
Too many doctors are unfortunately not very sympathetic to their patients. I don't know if it's being too analytical or becoming numb to seeing so many people, but it leaves them with no empathy.

I am SO glad to hear you're doing better and fingers crossed it keeps going. Enjoy and appreciate every day as best you can! Write, publish, craft and have fun! And of course I'll help with your book re-launch. :-)
M.J. Fifield said…
I'm so very glad you found a doctor who was able to help you, and who did help you. I hope you do have that party. You've more than earned it!
Patricia JL said…
If only she hadn't moved across the country! *sobs*
Patricia JL said…
It's disturbing how many chronic illness/pain patients have stories like mine.
Patricia JL said…
A lot of chronic illness/pain patients have been told similar. It's hard when doctors don't know why something happens but it's not excuse for that line.
Loni Townsend said…
My husband suffers from ailments and for years doctors couldn't tell him what it was. It's always disheartening and frustrating when a doctor can't help you. I'm glad you finally found some relief!
Gwen Gardner said…
The doctors know a lot, but there is so much they don't know! So glad you're feeling better.

I'm Gwen, co-hosting the IWSG this month -
Glad to hear you're doing better! It's amazing how much a good doctor helps, not just with the physical stuff but also with feeling like you're listened to/heard, etc.
Healing takes time and energy, and I am glad you are getting well.
Liz A. said…
I have heard so many horror stories about how doctors dismiss pain (especially women's pain). I don't know how you were able to live with it as long as you did. I'm glad to hear the surgery took care of the worst of it.
emaginette said…
Someone told me once that celebration should not be reserved ONLY for great days. Those are cherry on the top of a perfect moment.

It's the tough ones we should throw a party for. It's then we need something--anything--to make us smile. Those cherries can be a great lifesaver. hehehe

Anna from elements of emaginette
Happy Anniversary! I'm so glad you are doing better and continuing to heal. And you're back to blogging!
Samantha Bryant said…
Yeah, that's definitely a reason to fire that doctor! @samanthabwriter from
Balancing Act
I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope you stay pain free. I signed up for promotion help. I said no to reading the stories not because I don't want to, but because I am too far behind in my reading list. I have a few betas I need to finish before I promise to do anything else.
Yay! I managed to get Blogger to let me comment! I am so glad you are so much better, but sorry that your are suffering PTSD from years of pain and being disrespected by the medical field. I have been told more than once that something is just "a part of getting older," and I'm not happy with that, nor should anyone be willing to to "just live with the pain." Meanwhile, best of luck with the relaunch!
It's a good practice to live each day in the moment and to not put off anything you want to do now. May your pain-free days continue.
Kate said…
So glad you finally found something that helped! Living with that kind of pain just isn't sustainable.
Jemi Fraser said…
Those 2 years have passed in a flash! So glad the surgery made such a difference for you.